We have been conditioned. 

We have been taught what is negative and what is positive, we have been taught what is socially acceptable and what is not.

We have been taught how we should think, what we should believe in, how we should talk, which emotions we can freely express and which ones should not be shared. We have been taught to remain silent.  

You should not talk, you should not feel and you should not trust.

After a few years of conditioning we then come to believe all we have learnt and we build our lives according to those beliefs, never questioning them.

At some point in your life, life becomes very normally uncomfortable, filled with a kind of stable uneasiness, you’re not sad but neither can you say you are happy, and you have no idea why.  

Sometimes, often, a crises or simply ‘an experience’ occurs and you then break down, like a divorce or you’re retiring.  Both can leave you feeling like life no longer holds meaning for you.

Tension start building up, self confidence starts slipping away. You start shutting down. 

You reject those parts of yourself supressing them down making sure no one can get a peep of them, not even yourself. 

You deny them.

But this is where you need to dig deeper.

Working through this is about unlearning all these beliefs that are causing you uneasiness, discomfort and pain. It is about unlearning and relearning. It is about showing up for yourself.  It is about being enough. It is about compassion, it is about learning how to love yourself, it is about having a sense of self that comes from the inside out, it is about changing the way you experience your life.

It is about the journey inwards. 

Why is all this so important?

It is important to build a healthy relationship otherwise you might continue to live a life where you continue to chase ‘happiness’, meaning, success etc., some where out there.  Underlying such a mundane experience leave you grateful for nothing and always wanting what you do not have.

Imagine it like this. The human is made up of the autoimmune system, the mind, the body and the emotional/spiritual part, each connected and affecting each other. 

The job of the auto immune system is to defend and protect you. It is also important to feed your mind with beliefs that YOU believe in, to discard those that are not nourishing you, or limiting your world, Your body need nourishing food and movement,  our senses need to be nourished too, and naturally our emotional and spiritual aspect to being human need to be supported. Supressing your opinion, your truth is recorded as stress by the body, meaning that emotional and spiritual suppression raises your cortisol levels/stress leading to immune break down.

All of these aspects, the auto immune system, the mind, the body, the emotional and spiritual parts of us, is what makes us human.

That is what makes up your inner world, while our outer world is praising compliance, you are paying the price through your health, your mental health and in turn your physical heal.

It is pointless supressing/denying/rejecting all this energy and pretending it does not exist, because it keeps accumulating, till you can not function normally in your day to day life.

Over time self betrayal or chronic compliance changes the chemistry of your body where everything starts to feel like a threat, even when there is none, your heart is working harder (faster beats) your cortisol floods your bloodstream and blood sugar spikes up.